Hey! :)

I’m using this blog and my lillym92.tumblr.com too :)

foreverintertwined:

Edge of Desire || John Mayer

Young and full of running
Tell me where is that taking me
Just a great figure eight
Or a tiny infinite?
Love is really nothing
But a dream that keeps waking me
For all of my trying
We still end up dying
How can it be?
Don’t say a word
Just come over and lie here with me
‘Cause I’m just about to set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it
I’m scared you’ll forget about me
So young and full of running
All the way to the edge of desire
Steady my breathing
Silently screaming
I have to have you now
Wired and I’m tired
Think I’ll sleep in my clothes on the floor
Baby this mattress will spin on its axis
And find me on yours

Bye tumblr

I really really need it. I haven’t stopped crying since Friday. It’s so fucking hard letting go of someone you still love. It’s hard to stop thinking. It’s just too fucking hard. I know I’m suppose to keep strong, forget and move on. Like how everyone has been telling me to do.
But my heart tells me a complete story. Yes he did break it but, god I still love him and still care. I wish things were how they use to be. I miss him holding me when I needed him. I miss him calling me names. I miss laying by his side, I miss waking up by him knowing I’m safe, I miss his snoring and his ridiculous things. I miss him kissing me, I miss him telling how much he loves me, I miss talking to him, I miss listening to music with him, I miss cooking with him, or laying naked in his bed, I miss dinners with him already. I feel so fucking weak when I shouldn’t. He was my everything. He was the thing to look forward to everyday. He would make my days even when we fought. God how I miss him. And how I need him.
Now Im here on my own wishing and thinking if he feels the same with me. I wish he loved me. I wish he’d come after me. But its not going to happen which makes me hurt even more. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Especially listening to fucking John Mayer or any songs that he introduced me to. He changed my life for the better and he gave me hope. Now I feel so lonely even though I have alot of peoples support. Honestly though I want to be left alone. He made me so happy and I can’t handle this anymore.
Now I’m going to cry myself to sleep like a pathetic person. Allah give me the strength to be stronger, and more confident.
Idc if he won, or if he’s glad that im gone or that he got me back or whatever he thinks, I still forgive him and I still love him.
I hope he’s happy though. I do wish him the best. And maybe one day we will see each other again.
From now on though I’m going to focus on me. No guys, I’ll have guy friends obviously, but I won’t be in a relationship with anyone for a long long time. Honestly I don’t want a bf ever again. There will only be one in my heart and that’s enough.

So please pray for me, and may God Allah give me strength and patience, kindness,happiness, and hope towards life and people. Forgive me for everything, especially calling girl names they don’t deserve it and neither does he.
God help me….